Wolves - Movie Review
Chernoglav here, your friendly neighborhood purveyor of pestilence and pontificator of all things heavy. Last month, I crawled out of my crypt to witness a special screening of the Swiss black metal drama Wolves! Nothing says "true kvlt" quite like paying 20 CHF for a tiny glass of Pinot Noir while wearing a battle jacket that smells like stale beer and poor life choices. But we do it for you, the Citadel faithful. Now a quick disclaimer before the review! The film is half in Swiss German and half in English, which the director kindly warned me about, and my German is not too hot so the finer plot points may have been lost on me… anyway, on to the show!
The Glamorous World of Black Metal
The film follows young Luana (Selma Kopp), a 23-year-old daycare worker drowning in the suffocating mediocrity of normal life and difficult parental relationships. To escape, she joins her cousin's atmospheric black metal band, WLVS, as their, wait for it, tour social media manager. I hear you grinding your teeth from here. A social media manager? For a black metal band? What comes next, a TikTok dance to Mayhem's Freezing Moon?! Actually I think that’s already happened. But honestly, in 2026, even the most misanthropic forest dwellers need an Instagram algorithm strategy to sell more than three cassette tapes. And we at the Citadel know all about that, so do not claim we ignore the modernities of the scene!
The film also had bunch of rad music connections. From the classic venues like Kiff and Ebrietas bar in Zurich (my new local) to the actors themselves, with the Drummer of Swiss BMers Ungfell playing also a drummer (who graciously signed my vinyl along with the director). Darkspace and Amenra make live cameos, and Manuel Gagneux of Zeal & Ardor wrote the crushing soundtrack and the music of WLVS. And man is it refreshing to hear this guy write some proper atmospheric BM! Is this the first fictional black metal band? Well it’s likely the best. The concert scenes in general are incredibly well done, with Ulrich’s love for the genre clearly apparent in the tight and dynamic camerawork you truly feel there…. in one pivotal moment, I could almost imagine smell of the crusty Goatmoon-shirted mongoloids.
Things Go Off the Rails
Aaaaanyway, Luana hits the road with WLVS, sleeping in putrid hostels and experiencing the visceral rush of the stage. She falls for the enigmatic frontman, Wiktor (Bartosz Bielenia). You might remember him from Corpus Christi (but only if you’re a cool film guy), but here he traded the priest collar for vocal fry and fake blood. The film is broken into several chapters and things escalate quickly… which for black metal comes in two flavours, being way too serious about Satan, or EN ESS BEE EM (take that google algorithm!). And this is the latter (or at least a flavour of it) which involves all sorts of hijinks like questionable flags and burning ceremonies of sus symbols. I kept whispering to myself ‘ Whatchu doin’ girllll’ as Luana and her more innocent band friends get dragged down this road.
It of course hits all the (blast) beats of a classic coming of age story, so no surprises there, but it’s really the performances and setting that elevates this. It tackles the very real, uncomfortable issue of extremism in the scene without resorting to preachy dialogue and I loved the petty arguments between the band members which definitely reflected the classic arguments on Reddit. Wolves hits heavy emotionally and sonically. While it is definitely Luana’s tale, it also provides an honest look at the modern metal scene, fanaticism, and the blurry line between art and dangerous ideology. Grab a cold brew, ignore the fact that your favorite band probably employs a social media manager too, and give it a watch. TOTAL SUPPORT!
Written by: Chern The Hero With The Silver Mustache
“My ChatGPT subscription ran out now I have to actually write this website”
